The other day I was messing around online and low and behold I found something that sank my heart. It was a blog I had started when my marriage was going down like a fast roller coaster. It was started in 2004, and lasted during the first part of our multi-year separation I had with my husband. I know that divorce can be the cowards way out sometimes, but looking at some of those awful moments that my husband and I were going through, wow.
Life was just terrible for a very long time before he moved out. And truth be told the only reason that we didn't get the divorce finalized was he wouldn't have had health insurance any longer. Sometimes I didn't want to care about him needing it, but he has a bone disease and I could never stop loving him.
It is odd to think that a separation would help a relationship, but it did. It scared him. Since he moved back home, last year I can't say things are perfect. I really don't think anyone has a perfect relationship. But when he thought he was going to lose me forever, he changed and things are so much better.
I pray that we keep the strength alive to still love and respect each other.
I shuttered as I read those old posts in my blog, it made me cold inside.
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2 comments:
I used to journal years ago. I was reading through those journals one day, and thought,"who is that pathetic excuse for a woman?" I certainly did not want my children or grandchildren to read those some day, so I destroyed them. Anyway, my life was so on a downward spiral due to depression that it scared me. I not only had a black cloud over my head each day, I woke up in darkness. My husband wanted me to see a professional psychiatrist, but I insisted that Dr. Jesus would heal me. All I can say is, with faith, and hope in a brighter future and the love of the Lord to bring you through, anything is possible. I am not exempt from down times, failures, disappointments, and fears, but I know where to go now...right straight to my Father's Loving Arms. It is there and only there that I can achieve wholeness and healing.
Your perseverence in your marriage can only make it stronger. If you think that the love is failing, ask God to replace it for you...all you need is the desire and He can do the rest.
Great sharing with you.
ginny
Hey Anita, I am glad, but unhappily so, if that makes sense, that you too, are not fond of the cold ice and snow. I really do think is has a lot to do with our age.
I would love to get free samples, and I am certainly going to try out the tea ones. Thanks so much for thinking of me.
It is so cold today (Fri) but I have to get out and do some errands. I am having Christmas Eve and I need to get butt in gear and start to buy the little things I need. Being on a fixed income is not fun..losing my job is not fun..life has not been fun lately! Oh well, I have to believe that God will provide.
Thanks again, ginny
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