Wow things were messed up.

The other day I was messing around online and low and behold I found something that sank my heart. It was a blog I had started when my marriage was going down like a fast roller coaster. It was started in 2004, and lasted during the first part of our multi-year separation I had with my husband. I know that divorce can be the cowards way out sometimes, but looking at some of those awful moments that my husband and I were going through, wow.

Life was just terrible for a very long time before he moved out. And truth be told the only reason that we didn't get the divorce finalized was he wouldn't have had health insurance any longer. Sometimes I didn't want to care about him needing it, but he has a bone disease and I could never stop loving him.

It is odd to think that a separation would help a relationship, but it did. It scared him. Since he moved back home, last year I can't say things are perfect. I really don't think anyone has a perfect relationship. But when he thought he was going to lose me forever, he changed and things are so much better.

I pray that we keep the strength alive to still love and respect each other.

I shuttered as I read those old posts in my blog, it made me cold inside.

What a fun and exciting time

This coming Friday I will be making my way to Mt. Pleasant for the yearly Michigan Wildlife Rehabilitation Assoc. meeting that will be held Friday evening and all day Saturday. I love seeing the people who I only get to actually "see" once a year. Although this year is a little disappointing that I am missing the opening day of firearm season, which falls on the 15th (Sat.). I am not the only one that is in wildlife rehab that hunts, there are not many of us though. Some people are completely against hunting in the rehab groups I belong to, however a huge majority know that most hunters are the biggest conservationists. For me my wildlife rehab is my way of giving back.I have been in a hunting family my whole life. My dad never left us at home when he would go up to the cabin. No matter what kind of hunting the whole family went with him. Even my uncles would come along.This will be the last year that MWRA will be hosting their meeting during the hunting season. Many are not able to come due to them or their spouses going hunting, but I don't' want to miss it. Not only to see the other members, but it is great educational experience. I love learning more and more every year.Also I get to have my yearly mini-vacation. I will be staying till Sunday. Saturday after my meeting I am planning on trying out my gambling skills. I have never been to a casino, but I have always wanted to try the slots. I know that what I come in with will not be going home with me. So I am leaving with a SMALL amount of money and that is it. I just want to go have fun.When I get back I will be heading out to my hunting spot around the corner from my house and will be spending the next 3 days out there too. I just love being in "my spot" even if I never see a deer all season. I will see so much other wildlife come through. One year a coopers hawk sat on a branch just outside of my shanty window. What a gorgeous bird God has made. I never knew they had blue in them, but with him sitting less then 3ft from my head, I could marveledat the wonderful creature.This is my sisters first year hunting and I wish her luck. So on the family farm (168acres) both my parents, my sister, her husband, my brother, his oldest son, and my husband will all be out. My parents have a log cabin in the back of the property that we will use to warm up and eat at. It is always a fun time together and reminds me of the days when we would go 'up north' to go hunting.I can not wait!

What a wonderful Halloween

I am so happy about this last Halloween. Though my dad was in pain, and as he stated "only fell 3 times this week", and was black and blue in many places, he dressed up for Halloween.

What a wonderful time we had.

Unfortunately my mom was in pain with her stomach again, well more then her stomach, the ultra-sound shows, I told her to go up stairs and rest for awhile. Dad and I would be fine. I think she was glad to hear it and didn't argue with me.

Dad had me dress up a dummy monster stuffed with newspaper on the side of their porch, as I tried to hurry him along, because trick or treating was starting and he had to eat and to take his insulin first (I thought for sure by time he finished the costumed kids would be done).

He came out right after I had finished handing the first group of kids their goodies. He put on his monster mask and I stuffed newspaper where I could see skin, much like the stuffed monster on the other side of the porch. And he sat next to me. I was in the middle of two monsters.

As the little kids came by I would ask them to say "hi to my monster" they would timidly look at him motionless and say their hellos, as they walked away he would say "hi" back to them. Only one little one started crying and we explained that it was only my dad playing like the rest of the kids. Most of the kids really got a kick out of my dad, as did I.

There was a little girl clown that came up and spent about 5-10 minutes with us, we are sure she was not even 5 years old yet. She had so many questions for "the monster" and I think that if it was up to her she would have stayed the whole time with us. She was so adorable and though she never got too close to dad she wasn't scared either. That little girl made my dads day.

My dad made my day.

My brother in law Eric came back sooner then my sister and their little guy Ryan (who just turned 4 a couple of weeks ago) and put on a old lady mask and wig on. So I had 'my grandma' and 'my monster' with me.

When Ryan got back to the house he wasn't really scared, but he wasn't sure what to think of the 2 of them either.

What a wonderful time we had. My daughter and her new guy that she has been hangin' with came over for awhile. What wonderful memories I hope to never lose.

Happy Halloween

It's is again Halloween, throughout the centuries times have changed, meanings have changed. For us now Halloween is a fun time. Thanks goodness!

It is a time for kids to run around with costumes on, and go door to door through their neighborhoods getting candy. A time for parents to dress up and be a kid again.

That is why I love Halloween. Growing up my father always dressed up. He would be the one to walk me, my sister and 2 brothers around the blocks near our home while mom would hand out candy to the kids.

Once my siblings and I were grown and had children of our own, my dad would still dress up sometimes he would walk along with his kids and grandchildren, but once walking became more of a problem he would stay at home, but still dressed up.

Some years if he was feeling well he would jump out and scare kids. These were kids growing up near him who would often stop and visit him during the year to talk to my him and pet his sweet giant of a dog Teddy. They got used to this after seeing him dressed up in the same costume and sitting in the same place for 2 years. The 3rd year he dressed a dummy up to look like what he did and put it in his normal spot. The kids would come over and say "where's Mr. Straub?", as they would start going for the candy bowl the dummy was holding, dad would jump out from behind them.

Dad dressed as "The Alien in the Window" which was from our favorite program at the time, Sightings. Sightings was a show that Tim White hosted on the Sci-fi channel that dealt with the paranormal, miracles, and interesting other cool stuff. We loved that show, I would often go to my parents and watch it with him when it was on.

The alien in the window was filmed in Monroe (a town near Dundee where we lived) and given to a post office employee who sent it in to Sightings.

It was a very short clip that featured something that looked like what we would think an alien looked like peer in a window and go back down again.

If I can ever get my computer working at home that has a scanner I will post the picture of my dad. He put aluminum foil on top of his head and shoulders and turned some oatmeal green that he moistened and put on his face. Problem was he used green food coloring. He was green for a week after that.

I love Halloween, I love Halloween because of my Dad. I love the memories I have of Halloween. Most of all I love my Dad!

It's Reformation Day

491 years ago today a talented well educated Catholic monk named Dr. Martin Luther, who seen problems within the church, posted Ninety-five Theses on the door of the Castle Church in Wittenberg, Germany.

He seen problems that arised out of the church. At the time the church was the government and like many governments it was plagued with corruption.

He believed in the word and the grace of our God. Our God, not my God, not their God, but OUR God, OUR Lord and OUR savior.

WE are all Gods children. He loves each one of us. Catholic, Lutheran, lost souls. He is there all we have to do is open our eyes and our hearts

That is what matters.

By grace God's Son, our only Savior,Came down to earth to bear our sin.Was it because of your own merit. That Jesus died your soul to win? No, it was grace, and grace alone,That brought Him from His heav'nly throne.

Poems, Prayers and Promises

I've been lately thinking

About my life's time

All the things I've done

And how it's been

And I can't help believing

In my own mind

I know I'm gonna hate to see it end

I've seen a lot of sunshine

Slept out in the rain

Spent a night or two all on my own

I've known my lady's pleasures

Had myself some friends

And spent a night or two in my own home

And I have to say it now

It's been a good life all in all

It's really fine

To have a chance to hang around

And lie there by the fire

And watch the evening tire

While all my friends and my old lady

Sit and pass the pipe around

And talk of poems and prayers and promises

And things that we believe in

How sweet it is to love someone

How right it is to care

How long it's been since yesterday

And what about tomorrow

And what about our dreams

And all the memories we share

The days they pass so quickly now

Nights are seldom long

And time around me whispers when it's cold

The changes somehow frighten me

Still I have to smile

It turns me on to think of growing old

For though my life's been good to me

There's still so much to do

So many things my mind has never known

I'd like to raise a family

I'd like to sail away

And dance across the mountains on the moon

I have to say it now

It's been a good life all in all

It's really fine

To have the chance to hang around

And lie there by the fire

And watch the evening tire

While all my friends and my old lady

Sit and watch the sun go down

And talk of poems and prayers and promises

And things that we believe in

How sweet it is to love someone

How right it is to care

How long it's been since yesterday

What about tomorrow

What about our dreams

And all the memories we share

John Denver born Henry John Deutschendorf Dec. 31, 1943. Died in a plane crash on Oct. 12, 1997.

It has been 11 years next Sunday that John Denver passed away. It doesn't seem like it. My love of his music and meaning has never changed since I was young. I was lucky enough to see him in concert about 2 years before he passed away. It was an emotional experience for me. His songs always had and still has deep meaning to me. It gives me a sense of calm listening to him. I will treasure his songs, his talent, and his spirit forever.

My Chair

At the beginning of the summer I went up to my parents 'rustic' cabin near Tawas with both my mom and dad. We were going to the Michigan Magazine Museum to make bentwood chairs. They were having a class on making them. My mom and I both made one, my dad didn't have the strength to make one on his own, but was able to help with cutting the leaves and bumps off the branches. They were supposed to have a workshop this fall to make a matching love seat, but the couple that puts on the workshops got too busy and were unable to do it. Now we have to wait till spring. Everyday I come home and see this chair. It reminds me of the wonderful times that I have shared with my parents and the fun things we have done together. People that see it like it. I am hoping to make more maybe during the winter months, the family farm has 168 acres, and alot needs to be cut away to clear it out. I just need to find the right types of wood. Who knows maybe just maybe I can sell them this spring, they were so fun to make and not very hard to do. Maybe I will have my dad help me too.